10-18-10

Today was a fairly normal day considering the usual insanity that goes on in our office.  To re-cap the last week: my wonderful boss, Cray-Pee, was arrested for a DUI last Sunday.  She then took two days off, at the discretion of our organization's president for "personal reasons".  Upon her return, she was not greeted with warm open arms from all the crazies in the office but to keep the peace, I and one other tried to act as normal as possible.  All was ok, ignoring the giant gorilla in the room, until she proceeded to tell me what jail was like....and how skeeved out she was while she was temporarily incarcerated.  After she tearfully asked me if I "hated her" for what she did, I did my best to ignore it............

The following day she walked by my desk to tell me that the shirt she was wearing was her "jail shirt" as she slightly caressed her bosom in a most disconcerting way....

Eh-hem.  Today, again, was as normal as possible.  We had our big Monday meeting, per usual and of course bombs were dropped: our job was changing, we were no longer a huge part of what we once were and are now considered "supplemental".

No worries, she says, nothing will change and we'll still have jobs....

Me thinking: wait, didn't you just say things were changing?

Ok...so there are no goals any longer but that doesn't mean you still don't have to work. You do.....and there will be goals of some kind....wait, didn't you just say there were no goals?

So, I want you all to be happy so I just want you guys to know that we're not doing anyting differently with this department.  There was talk of "downsizing" two months ago, but I haven't mentioned it again and I'm not going to.  You all deserve to be here but you need to prove your worth here....wait, didn't you just say that there was no fear of downsizing?

So now I'll open the floor to suggestions:

Me: Can we get a manual explaining everything you just said?